"Life is never about the big picture, for it is the small details that define its glory; living its small parts will enable the grasp of appreciation, otherwise it is dictated by expectations." - kF.06

Sunday, July 10, 2011

I blame myself, but its tiring...

Deep in my mind, the abyss of craziness, rationality, irrationaliy and whatever else in there, I ask:
Is this really my chance to press this button --> [Restart] ??? To restart my chance to correct past flaws?
Or is this my time to see if someone can really appreciate, understand and really want to be with me, and for the right reasons.
From the time I understood the term maturity and responsibility, I understand that I am the only to one point and blame, otherwise, my silence is all they hear.

I am wrong because of this...
I should not have done this...
I am unhappy because of this...
My thoughts were irrational...
My actions were regrettable...

Me, My, I...burden, climb, resurface, learn. For too long I've blamed myself and watch others accept the open ride and live free without expanding their perspective of other possibilities.
Again, this may be a selfish thing to say, but sometimes being a little selfish is upholding your diginity and to say, enough is enough.

*shrug*

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